I am a cheater!!!

I'm a cheater! There I said it. I wasn't going to admit it- but I have to get it out. And since my husband doesn't read my blogs- this is my attempt at cleansing my dirty dirty soul!
It all started about 3 weeks ago. I'm embarrassed to say that I was at a friend's house. He was a friend of the family too. Our eyes met. We flirted. I even did that move where I stared at him until he looked over - and then I looked down- all shy. He somehow got me to meet him in a back room- maybe it was a walk-in closet. He tried to put the moves on me- talking soft and way too close to my face. I resisted- turned and walked away- I knew it was wrong- oh so wrong. For some reason- maybe it was his cologne- maybe it was my need to feel young fresh and sexy- not sure- anyway- I rushed back and suck face with "him." Ohhhh the rush. I felt like I was 18 again with a fake ID out-smarting the bouncers at the hardest clubs in town. I am a terrible person.
The next time it was a darker haired "guy." Still very attractive- of course. The same flirting- the excitement of not getting caught. Nothing happened though. I had self control...this time.

Then last night happened. (I really should stay home!!!) I was at a party- a family party. I just came out of the bathroom and a friend introduced me to this even darker haired guy ( see a weakness pattern here?) who wanted my opinion on some pictures he had taken for a photo shoot. And since I know a thing or two about pictures- I offered my help. (by thing or two- I mean I take pictures of MY kids -Thing 1 and Thing 2)
He was so impressed by my suggestions that he asked me to go for a walk with him- outside-alone- where I could see his "sculpture." (Duh- I should have seen that coming) We walked outside- talked a bit- then stopped to watch this really cool outside movie screen. We sat down on the lawn chair/couch thing that had the most comfortable big pillows on it. Our feet were up - on the ottoman- a blanket covered our legs. I couldn't hear the movie- so I went to grab for the remote that was resting on his thigh. As I went to grab it (the remote- you pervert)- he stopped my hand. I could feel him looking at me. I could feel his breath moving my hair. I knew if I turned my head - we would kiss. Do I turn my head? Do I not turn my head? Then I heard that little voice inside my head say...
"Mommy, I have to tinkle!"
Wait- WHAT? NO!!!!!!! I tried to close my eyes again. Fall back to sleep- please fall back to sleep! Come back handsome stranger.
"Mommmmmmmy, I HAVE TO TINKLE NOW!!!!"
Yup- it's over. I'm awake- in the bathroom now- putting the Dora toilet seat on the bowl.
(Oh- Did I forget to mention that I am only a DREAM Slut?)

While these dreams seem so real while they are happening- I know that in the REAL world (MY real world) they would never happen this way. The guy would still be hot (wink) but the kissing part would be very different. Just as we were about to kiss- I would STOP. Not because of morals- but because of my allergies. I would then ask him "What did you eat today?, Did you have any fish, clams, shrimp, lobster, mussels, scallops?" Oh yeah- "AND- Do you by any chance have a non-latex condom?" (I didn't think so)
So you see - I am a BIG buzz kill and I am very lucky to have my non-fish eating latex-free husband who loves me for me!

*Thank God I can act normal in my dreams!