Dating is so much easier Now!

Dating is so much easier now. You don't need to go out to a bar- or pretend to buy PVC pipe at Home Depot to find a date. They can now be delivered right to your door! I'm not talking about match.com or patheticlydateless.com- I'm talking about Freecycle. That's right- stay with me.
I figured out this great service one day when I was trying to get rid of some of my pants and shirts that didn't fit me anymore. (my hips never went back after kid #2)
OFFER: Women's size 3 long pants and shirts size small
Of course- All the women that replied- were tall and skinny bitches. (yes- I know I used to be one too- OK- I still am) Anyway- I also added that they were stylish- good for college students/young adults. The next day- I had 2 young women show up at my door.
Hummm... if you say you have something free- the people that can use that particular item respond to your email -then come over and pick it up. Right? How great! Almost effortless.
Now- back to my reason why dating is so much easier now. If I were single- I would use Freecycle all the time! ;o) My ad would look something like this:
OFFER: Magnums
I might even add- please send picture with your email request. (you know- just so I know who to look out for) It would have nothing to do with my selection.
Whaala- a well endowed dude shows up at your doorstep.
And if I happen to be wearing a full face of make-up and tight pants when he arrives- it would be by mere coincidence.


Warning- (here is where I am a buzz kill) If you do use freecyle- be a smart user. Do not open your door up to just anyone- or pick up an item at some strange house by yourself. Leave your items on your front doorstep and always take someone with you. Or you could be like me - ready for anything. Remember- there is no such thing as too much mace or a pocket knife that is way too sharp.