Happy or Sad?

I went to a beautiful wedding last month. It was at an expensive place on the water. Just beautiful. Love was in the air. It was like a scene right out of a movie...

A very scary movie.

Everyone there had the same expression on their face. It wasn't joy or happiness. It was botulism. My friend (the bride) works for a dermatologist/cosmetic surgeon. All the female guests had the same freaky frozen face. Not one wrinkle on their foreheads. No laugh lines. Crows feet- forget about it! I was so creeped out at first. Without even being aware of it- I actually started to imitate them. It was like when you are talking to someone foreign- you automatically start to say things like Good Day, Mate (when talking to a Wiggle) and Hola, Papi. (when talking to someone like Dora the Explorer's Dad) You just can't help it- you just start to imitate the person's cool accent. *This does not apply when talking to someone from Long Island - that accent is just too annoying to imitate...ever!

So anyway- My husband had to pull me aside and to tell me to remove that fake smile on my face. (I was way too busy thinking how this women's face looked like a train wreck)

After the initial shock- I decided to have fun with it. My husband and I started to play a game called "Real or Fake." I was clearly the winner. He wasn't much competition - but he was the ONLY one I could play with. I must admit- he could pick out a pair of fake ones from a mile away! (hey- I was too drunk to notice that at the time- he is in such big trouble!!)

What the F_____!!??? I just don't understand why people do it. You DON'T look younger! You look like a Marionette!!

The reason I am bringing this up is to stop anyone who is thinking about getting any cosmetic surgery done. You will never fool anyone. People will laugh at you and YOU will lose your ability to laugh. You will have no expressions. You win the lottery- freaky frozen smile. Your Pet dies - freaky frozen smile.

Look at poor Meg here. She is one of my favorite actresses. I have even met her on vacation. (we vacation in the same town every summer) I have seen her without botox and I have seen her with it. Meg- you screwed up your face, sister. To quote one of my favorite Meg movies, French Kiss: "Corresponding face to the corresponding emotion." That Meg is what's normal!

Just say No to Botox and collagen.

*If you already had work done on your face- then this blog does not apply to you. You look fabulous, darling.